Sunday, October 9, 2011

Deferred

Ever notice how life never turns out the way you imagined it would?  Where I am today is nowhere near any of the dozens of scenarios I've imagined for myself.

Were you the one who dreamed of something fantastical, awaiting some hero from the pages of your favorite novel to find you?  Or to be someone greater than you are?  Or are you the one who thought you wouldn't be alive for this long?  Or maybe you're the one whose imaginings depended on what day it was?

Apparently I conduct my best musings when I should be asleep or in the shower LoL  Here I am, 2am, and still awake contemplating where I am in life - physically and metaphorically.  With so many life changes going on around me, I can't help but reflect on those I haven't accomplished.  Man, I such a dreamer growing up!  Hm, I wonder what happened to that.  Who truly knows what happens to those dreams deferred?  At 31, I can say some have quite dried up like a raisin in the sun, though haven't quite festered like a sore*.  Though all these lost dreams is a point of contention for my ego - that I that we ignore while in the midst of the daily grind in our zombie-like pursuits that ever accidentally comes out late at night when  you should be asleep or in the shower.

I must have a purpose great than simply being.  A mark yet to be made.  A task to be mastered.  It's not what happens to the dream deferred; it's about what happens to the person whose dreams are deferred.

I've said, often enough, a new life, a new start, when referring to my upcoming marriage.  I hope to put that into action.  I need to put that into action.

*reference to Harlem by Langston Hughes

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