Friday, October 29, 2010

A disgruntled employee

I don't much care for venting on a public forum, but ya was just one of them days! :p

Saying "I can't wait to get the hell out of here" is an understatment when it comes to my job, and hell, where I live. Now, don't get me wrong, I love the people I work with and I have some of the best students you could ask for. But, yeah, the rest you can have it. I'm done!

Today is Oct. 29, we are almost 3 months into the school year and already 5 female teachers have had physical altercations with students. I couldn't be in the classroom. There's no way in hell you're getting me the classroom. I much rather prefer my nice, safe library. This is the first of my 5 years at this school when things have been this bad for teachers. And I'm sorry, if one of these kids puts their hands on me, the only thing you're going to hear is "911, what's your emergency?". I hate to say it, but most of us aren't feeling very safe. A lot of our kids have issues that need to be sorted out and I feel like we're not given enough information to properly handle the short-fused students. And I feel like we don't really have anyone there looking out for us.

On top of all that, I can't take my working conditions much longer. I hate saying this, but I just can't. I'm not a quitter. I won't quit. I also won't go into detail on a public forum bad-mouthing anyone, but those who know what I have to deal with, understand what I mean. All that, plus textbooks right now is a bit much for my shoulders. To hell with Thanksgiving/Christmas breaks, I'm ready for May!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

30 and counting

Well, as of Aug. 25 I was officially done with my 20's. I think I had a harder time turning 25 than I did 30! LoL My sister and I (we're twins) had a nice time out. Mom brought us both two bouquets of flowers and took us to dinner. The following weekend, my sister's husband threw us a surprise birthday party. It was more for her, but it was still nice :) I was able to bring Sophie with me and she had a blast so that made the whole affair that much more fun!

When I turned 25, I reflected on my life up until then and really didn't like what I saw. My life had become stagnant, unchanging, monotonous. This year, I feel as though I have been given a new start. There are many changes that will be coming and while I'm excited, I'm still a little hesitant. Maybe being in such a constant routine makes me a little wary of my life drastically changing, but I think it will all be for the best :) I know my immediate family isn't too keen on how things will change and that does make it hard for me. I'm the type of person who wants those around me to be happy first and then I'll take care of me. It's been difficult putting my wants before theirs but I'm curious to see what changes may come and if I give in then I may miss out on something great! It's funny how I've heard more about what they feel and think than they've asked me what I think and feel.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Apartment sitting gone wrong

I had the whole story laid out for you, but after reading it a few hours after I posted it, I felt a little better. I'm a forgiving sort of person, though I'm still wounded to my core that my babies were not taken care of nor any thought given to getting them back to me when all the drama started. Here are some pictures of the condition my plants were given back to me.

I understand and appreciate all sides and opinions but that does not negate the fact that no one took responsibility. Hell, even I took responsibility for my part in it. I just wouldn't do someone that way, no matter what was going on.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

New poem

I finished this poem earlier this month. It's my first in a long time; feel free to leave a comment. I don't usually write poems that rhyme so I'd like to know what you think. Most of my work is more on the dark side so don't worry, nothing bad happened to make me come up with this ;)

Fading Memories

Remember me at the end of the day
when all the lights have faded
and the world turns gray.

Remember the moments when we felt free
when all was new and bright
and innocence was easy to see.

Remember the laughter from all that we shared
when talks were endless
and my soul was bared.

Remember how things changed from gay to pain
when our carefree days ended
and love turned to strain.

Remember your words that cut like a knife
when your pretty words faded
and all would end in strife.

Remember the day you broke my heart
when all we built crumbled
and my world fell apart.


Tuesday, March 30, 2010

A crossroads

For a couple weeks now I have been sitting at the junction of the crossroads of my life. Every time I think I have come to a solid decision, something occurs or some random thought appears and I change my mind. I have decided that who I am is who I am. Think "take it or leave it". This is me. I'm not going to apologize for the way I am, because there's nothing wrong with me :) I've tried reconciling myself to how I should be, that I forgot how I should be. Now the opportunity to be me has come about, and I'm hesitant.

Am I hesitant because of what I am leaving behind or hesitant because I'm not familiar with what lies ahead? I have been ready for my life to move forward, eager for it to. And now, I feel more stuck than ever.

I was told I am an amazing person today. I've never thought of myself above "pretty cool". I wish I felt amazing :) I've been thinking on the comment for a few hours now and I have come to the conclusion that it is my past that inhibits me from feeling that way. I do my best to live my life with no regrets, but there are a few. I feel that my past is my shame and embarrassment. It's hard to let go of something that has been carried around for so long. I try looking past it all, but it's like ignoring a blemish on your skin; you always know it's there.

I'm probably making a muddle of all of this so I'll close here. Some of my best ideas come to me in the shower so maybe I'll just go wash my hair LoL

Saturday, March 13, 2010

A random post

Mom and I went shopping today. It was more following her slowly around the mall, but we'll call it "shopping" ;) I did get a new outfit though. It's different than what I usually wear, but I think it's cute. I've lost a little more weight (not that I'm overweight or trying to be super-skinny) so I want to work on my confidence and embrace my girlishness :) Of everything I could not like about myself, it's usually my knees (LoL) that I have the most issue with. Dunno why, but they're puffy in the back...and for a little over $200 my dr. will tell you nothings wrong even though your knees and ankles may swell and cause you pain. Yeah, this year is going to be one of changes :) Or so I say's subject to change ;)

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

The long awaited book!!!

No, silly, not my book. The new book by Lucy Monroe! I'm so excited she has finally released book 2 of The Children of the Moon series! Woo! I have to head to the groomers for Sophie today so you know I'll be stopping by the book store asap! Funny thing, I just finished rereading the first one last night!

Monday, January 18, 2010

Sophie's surgery adventure

Well, today Sophie got spayed...among other things. Things never seem to go as simple as we think they should!

While discussing what would be done with the Vet. tech before surgery, she suggested getting Sophie microchiped (which is something we wanted) since she'll be asleep and the 18-gage needle won't cause her any undue discomfort.

The Vet. made sure her lungs were clear and breathing strong since she has a coughing problem. which everything was. She had some blood work done which was all clear.

So, when we get there I'm told she's going to need her Bortella shot, that the clinic requires all their patients to receive the vaccine. Which is fine since it helps protect the dog from certain illnesses they can pick up while being boarded.

After that, it was time for surgery. The Vet. called me to inform me that some of her baby teeth hadn't fallen out and the permanent teeth had already come in. She recommends getting them pulled to prevent any tooth decay or gum disease. Since they weren't going to fall out on their own, we agreed it was the best thing to do. Gary and I had both noticed that some hadn't fallen out.

At first Sophie was going to have to spend the night at the clinic, but since she was alert and moving around, we were able to bring her home this evening. Poor thing is sore on both ends, but nothing some pain meds won't fix! Every procedure went well and I think Gary and I were more nervous than she was!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Busy reader

Well, one of my New Year's resolutions is to catch up on my reading and stay caught up! Yeah, if I don't break this resolution it'll be a miracle! I have, at my last count, 20 books to either finish reading or begin reading. I just finished reading Pride and Prejudice: the graphic novel by Nancy Butler published by Marvel Comics. The illustrations are lovely and I was glad to see the author used the same language style in the comic as is in the novel. Sad to say, I bought another book at Wal-Mart yesterday while grocery shopping. I can't believe I had forgotten that Donna Fletcher's latest book The Highlanders Forbidden Bride was just released. It's the 4th and last book in the Sinclair brothers series.

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